


Sometimes when the tide draws out

by Subtle_Shenanigans



Category: steven universe future - Fandom
Genre: Abuse mentioned, Anger, Bonding Through Trauma, Drabble, Emotional Turmoil, Fear, Friendship, Gen, Good Friends, Lapis and Jasper were both in the wrong, Lapis needs therapy, Regret, Steven needs therapy, basically Lapis and Steven open up to one another, characterization May be off, depression referenced/mentioned, do not repost to another site, its been awhile since I’ve watched SU, look I’ve always adored Lapis, no beta we die like men, so I saw some clips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22294291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Subtle_Shenanigans/pseuds/Subtle_Shenanigans
Summary: Sometimes when the tide draws out, shells and tumbled glass shine under moonlight.
Relationships: Lapis & Steven
Comments: 7
Kudos: 49





	Sometimes when the tide draws out

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so. I sorta wanted to mess with the idea of Lapis and Steven fusing. Honestly, I don’t know if Lapis would ever consider it again, regarding the trauma with Malachite. (And, not because she was hurt, but also because someone else was.) I know Peridot is a huge contender in most fics, and I do see her as one of the possibilities, but I’ve always liked the idea of her and Steven fusing.
> 
> Ametrine is a purple and yellow sort of crystal - I thought it’d be an interesting mix between Lapis’ blue and Steven’s pink. (Yes, I know it IRL is technically a fusion between Citrine and another gem. This is just a Drabble for fun though and I like the colors!!)
> 
> Honestly this is just a Drabble/fun idea.

Of course she finds herself here, on the pier, feeling the power of the ocean surge beneath her feet.

(She can constantly feel water - its push and its pull, as it seeps into cracks and changes the very world around it. She knows when rain is coming, from days off.   
  
Glancing at the moon she feels a kinship with it. After all, they both can control the tide, can’t they?)

So she isn’t surprised to find herself here. It’s been a busy day; she helped Bismuth in the forge and Peri with some sort of . . .honestly she wasn’t sure if it was a Morp or a device. But it took a lot of work.

At the end of the day, she was just tired.   
  


Steps clattered on the aged wood, and Lapis kept her gaze towards the moon. She’d know those steps anywhere, even weighed with fatigue. Steven dropped beside her with a sigh, laying flat on his back.

“Hmph.”   
  
Steven grunted in response. He probably even shrugged.

It was quiet. There was some deep-seated chill that rose within her - rain, in the next two days.   
  


After awhile of comfortable silence, she finally decided to start talking. It wasn’t unusual for them to sit in companionable quiet, but usually Steven was saying _something_ by now. So something was up.

“How’s the new gem doing? Freckles, Nice?” She scrunched her face, trying to remember the other Lazuli’s nickname.

“She’s doing good - got settled in some dance classes, as well as one of Garnet’s.”

“Hmm.”

“. . .”

Lapis sighs, dropping her head to her chest. Then she looks over to Steven, hair hanging in her eyes. “So, what’s going on with you? I know you’re taking a break from LH, but. . .?”

The answer that comes is quick, his voice tight. “Fine. Everything’s. . .fine.”

Lapis collapses on her back next to him. Takes a moment to think. “Steven, you’re a _terrible_ liar.”

It’s blunt, and to anyone else would seem careless, but she knows that Steven knows her better than anyone, and would be able to tell how concerned she really is.

There’s something surly, perhaps bitter, in his voice. “Don’t worry about it.”

Lapis turns her head, looking at him. “ _Steven_.”

He refuses to look at her; keeps his gaze on the sky. His eye that she can see is hard, like he’s trying to keep a wall between them. She wonders if he actually feels like crying.

“When I was scared of staying on earth,” she starts softly, “when I was afraid and hurt after Malachite, when we faced those other Lazuli’s,” _when we faced what I used to be_ , goes unsaid, “you were there for me. Let me be there for you.”

“Peridot was there too,” he retorts. But it’s a weak point and he knows it.

“Not like you were; not in the same way.” His eye flickers to her and she gives a small smile. Socks him lightly in the shoulder. (He doesn’t even flinch, his strength on par with hers.) “C’mon. Beach Summer Fun Buddies?”

This brings a hint of a smile to his face. “It’s Spring.”

She raises a brow. Steven huffs a laugh.

“Okay, okay,” he turns on his side to face her, “BSFBs.”

Lapis feels herself relax, knowing she won’t have to drag it out of him.

But he? He tenses, eyes drifting to the doc beneath them. “It’s. . .I’ve just been. . .” He closes his eyes tightly, then sighs. When he opens his eyes they’re bright, unusually bright. Lapis is sure he’s trying not to cry.

She feels the tide going back out. Listens to the waves crash.

“I’m scared,” he whispers. Confesses.

Lapis isn’t usually physical by nature, but Steven is, or at least used to be more so, so she reaches out and grabs one of his hands, giving it a squeeze.

“It feels like everyone is leaving, moving on, doing better, but I. . .it’s like -“ he gives a shuddering breath, chokes on a sob, “it’s like I can’t get over any of it, you know? Like- like-“ he starts trembling, and Lapis keeps hold of his hand. She makes sure to stay silent, let’s him go at his own pace. Even as she’s sure he’s uncomfortable, laying on one side on the doc.

“It’s like I can’t forget or leave behind what _she_ did. Like I have to fix all her mistakes, but there’s _nothing left to fix_.” He grips her hand tightly enough for it to be uncomfortable, but she doesn’t pull away. He’s crying, sobbing now, and finally whimpers out, “ _Why can’t I just let go?_ ”

“Steven,” she murmurs. “Hey. Sometimes it doesn’t go away.” He jolts up, looking at her with red-rimmed eyes. The burgundy of his iris hard to see in the dark, she notes mindlessly. In fact, they’ve been dim for awhile, haven’t they? Where did that old sparkle go?

She pulls herself back to the conversation at hand. It’s hard enough for her to talk about, old wounds still stinging beneath the surface. “Sometimes it feels like manacles chained, cutting into your form. Like one giant one, squeezing around your chest, your gem. Sorta like a cracked gem.” She knows he’s never cracked his gem, but she hopes it’s something he can understand. “But it never really goes away. It gets worse and worse, and you think it won’t get better, that you can’t _be_ better, but- you want know something really important?”

Steven nods mutely. He’s not sobbing anymore, which she takes as a plus.

Lapis leans in, like she’s sharing a secret, voice hushed, conspiratol, “it does get better.”

She leans back, suppressing a giggle at his wide eyes. “With time,” squeezes his hand again, “with people you trust.”

Now she looks down at the wood grain, traced silver in the moonlight. “It won’t be right away, but, I found when I opened up, when I let myself trust, it helped.”

“But I can’t talk to the Gems,” he stutters out, like he’s suddenly breathless.

She knows he means _his_ Gems, his family he’d grown up with. “It doesn’t have to be them. It doesn’t have to be your family, or your friends. Just someone - or some people - you trust. But _not_ just lion,” she teases, “Preferably someone who can talk back.”

“It doesn’t even have to be me,” she reassures.   
  
It’s quiet, for a time. Then, Steven laughs. It’s tired, but not exhausted. “I think. . .you've been a lot of help. I. . .wouldn't mind talking to you again, if, if you’re okay with that.”

“I’d like that,” she states.   
  
She lets go of his hand, stands up. Then she puts her hand out to him, and, curiously, he complies and lets her help him up. “Now, lets have some fun.”

He laughs as she twirls him suddenly, letting go, and he flaps his arms to keep balance. Lapis isn’t much of a dancer by nature, but she remembers trying to show the other Lazuli’s, and how _freeing_ it had felt for once. Dancing means no chains, no prison - and Steven himself is like freedom. She doesn’t want to lose that.

It becomes and odd game of tag, in a way; he darts to her, and she unleashes her wings and pushes back, landing on the ocean, the water still in disks beneath her feet. “Hey, that’s unfair!” He cries, and it’s like an echo of his self from three years ago, his voice cracking. In reply she cranes her head and two more discs appear, and he floats down on the surface of the ocean, keeping himself light in case her concentration is lost. Before he can get her she darts forward and spins him, and then darts away.

And they’re both laughing, and it’s free. Lapis hasn’t really played many games on Earth but she understands the basics of antics and having fun. It’s not about rules, or stifling obligations, but about free movement, free spirit.

And they find themselves, in that moment, to be free.

In their game, she’s not sure if it was when she caught him, or he caught her, but suddenly they were both spinning, and laughing, and they didn’t see one another.

“Ste- Lap-“

They stopped short in surprise, mouth in an ‘oh’. There was a moment of fear, if boundaries had been passed, but after collecting themself, it was fine. They were both okay with this - they were not afraid, they were not hurt. Surprised, (Lapis thought she was just. . .incapable of fusion ever again, and Steven worried if he had somehow forced it, but neither was the case, they saw.) but calm.

“Who are we?” They looked down at the surface of the ocean. Though distorted, they saw hair, darker purple fading and turning over to yellow at the tips. Two eyes (thankfully), a fascinating yellow. They skin was a softer violet, or maybe dark lavender, fading over to a soft pale yellow on their hands. They looked down, and the same was for their feet.

Interestingly, they had no extra limbs, or features; they pulled out their wings, and while they seemed more detailed (and were the same color as before, being made of water), they were merely bigger than Lapis’ own.

Their outfit was a shirt more like Lapis, a crop-top, dark, midnight blue with a yellow star, with Lapis’ pants but jean-blue. Steven’s jacket, but darker pink leaning towards purple, was tied around their waist, below their gem.

They were a bit of a mess, but they decided they liked it. Ran their fingers through their hair; a little longer than Lapis’ own, with a slight curl. A tad frizzy, like some peoples’ got from the sea air.

They grinned, hugging themselves and spinning on the disc beneath their feet. They definitely liked it.

“We are wonderful,” they breathed. Even if they had been hurt, were hurt, it was true. “We’re Ametrine. Metrine for short. Oh! It sounds like Marine,” and they giggled, with the knowledge of the human word.

They gave a soft sigh, one of peace, and folded their legs beneath them to sit on the sea. Gazing at the moon and stars, they breathed, “and we will be alright.” A promise to themselves, to one another.

And they both felt as the tide drew back in.

**Author's Note:**

> QOTP: What’s your favourite fan fusion (any canon characters!)
> 
> My (A): My favourite Steven-Lapis fan fusion is probably Bob, who was made by someone on Instagram XD.
> 
> Art link for Ametrine: https://subtle-shenanigans-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/190409278667/ametrine-my-lapissteven-fusion-its


End file.
